i received my first christmas gift of the weekend today. the thoughtful folks down at the philadelphia parking authority sent me a festive envelope containing a $100 traffic ticket for running a red light. there were pictures of the affair and it documented the time, date, and location. the chief of police even signed it for me. i will surely cherish this memorandum for years to come. i’m sure there’s a joke in there about red and green lights to be made, but i will leave that as an exercise for the reader.
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nick was kind enough to drive me home from the work the other day, as he has done on several occasions. he had received an early christmas gift from his girlfriend in the form of a fancy-pants car gps navigation system. i think it might have also brushed his teeth and applied makeup should he need it, but i didn’t ask about those features.
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it’s not very often that my doorbell rings at 12:30 am, and i’m even more leery when any guests i might have had all left several hours beforehand. i’m even leerierer when my porchlight still hasn’t been fixed and i can’t see a thing through the peephole.
naturally, i opened the door to see who was standing there.
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“there’s a chemical in your home that could kill you. we’ll tell you what it is right after this.”
the phenomenon of mystery is an irresistible mistress. tv shows, newscasts, and other wastes of time employ the technique daily. talented storytellers use it in their stories. even spammers and junk mailers have gotten in on the mystery train. next time you tell a story, leave a few details out, or promise some information at the beginning that you don’t fulfill until the end and see what it does to the audience. they will mentally writhe and beg for you to spill those unsaid details. that’s what the back of my cereal box said this morning.
i’ve discovered a new coffee addiction, and the ironic thing is how many people have reminded me that i don’t like coffee. is there any more useless and unwanted conversation than telling someone something that they once told you about themselves? so, for the record, i still don’t like coffee, although i’m starting down the road of gateway drinks and will probably be a coffee addict within a year’s time. maybe 6 months. it all started when i ordered a pumpkin latte from starbucks about 2 months ago. i just ordered a mistletoe latte from bucks county coffee co. and discovered a new seasonal replacement for an old seasonal favorite. i also discovered a new way to burn $5 on a drink, and that was enough discoveries for the day.
the big news is that i’ve finally found an apartment in philly. manayunk, to be exact. i’m pretty excited. pretty fuckin’ excited, actually. practically everything is brand new, except for the bright pink shower stall, but that’s forgivable. it’s a 3rd floor 1 bedroom with a private deck that looks out over the river and downtown manayunk. both the train and main street are within walking distance. hello afforable swinging bachelor pad, goodbye new jersey.
in conclusion, carbon dioxide can kill you if you breathe it in massive quantities. have the air in your home tested.
nintendo has truly outdone themselves with the wii. anyone who has had their reality touched by the new console will most likely agree. the past few weeks have been filled with great joy, happiness, and wasted hours thanks to this little machine.
the most incredible part about it is the cash cow they are sitting on which they have tagged as the “virtual console”. this is several emulators of past gaming systems rolled into one and bundled into the built-in wii software. being able to spend reasonable amounts of money to download and play classics of yesteryear is not only an incredible experience, but also one of the most shrewd business moves i’ve seen in a long time (disclaimer: i didn’t spend very long looking). the console emulation software has been around in various forms for the greater part of a decade, and the costs of acquiring the rights to the games themselves range from nil (for games that nintendo originally developed) to probably not all that much (games from other third parties that don’t have any other financial value outside of the virtual console), for the same reason that tsunami insurance is rather cheap here in the northeast (once again, i didn’t really do my research on that). nintendo has said they will be releasing between 1 and 5 virtual console games every monday and the games will be strategically released so as to stagger the popular releases in between lulls of blockbuster wii titles.
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